Inside the Asylum

Those filthy disease ridden primates (homo sapiens) having been spreading pestilence left right and center. First they infect poor innocent pigs, and now a cat has caught swine flu. In Egypt they slaughtered the entire pig population because they were afraid they'd spread swine flu (with a bunch of unforeseen consequences which shows they didn't listen to Heinlein's warning about the dangers of indiscriminately killing hogs (and dragons)). When everyone was worried about Chicken Flu, they slaughtered two million chickens in Holland at least 1.4 million in Hong Kong, plus at least 80,000 in India, another 35,000 in England and who knows how many world-wide? Well, now those dirty primates have started spreading a flu virus across species, what are we going to do about it? Filthy creatures.

OK, I admit that this is partly an excuse to post another clip of hot Lebanese singer Haife Wehbe, but that doesn't make it any less amazing. While filming this music video, a plane was supposed to fly low over the top of the car she was driving. It flew a bit too low, and actually hit her vehicle. They mixed the real collision into the video, as viewed from an in-car camera. Stunning!

It's nice to have KCNA back. They didn't go away, so much, as just get remarkably tame and (astoundingly) even sometimes a bit conciliatory. Today, we got to see a bit of vintage North Korean weirdness. The North Koreans warned

The U.S. and its “allies” had better cogitate, mindful of the grave consequences to be entailed by their reckless military actions.

It's good to have old friends back, even if they are grumpy old friends stuck in the 1950s.

The U.S. is hell bent on reinforcing the military alliance with Japan and south Korea, labeling the DPRK "an unstable factor," but this is nothing but sophism to cover up the criminal nature of its Asia strategy for domination. The U.S. revealed its scenario to militarily stifle the DPRK by putting forward Japan and south Korea as its shock brigade.

Thank goodness. I was starting to worry that this sea of weirdness for my blog posts had stopped being funny.

The Ontario Superior Court of Justice has ruled that aliens (from other planets) are not "human" and therefore have no standing in court, as only a "human being" or "corporation" may bring an action. Specifically, a Martian has no standing in court, and therefore cannot sue another party. Wow. Now would be a very bad time for us to make first contact. Close down SETI, and whatever you do, don't tell the Vulcans! (Via Instapundit)

For all you perverts out there who were titillated by my recent post about the Tease and Wash topless car wash in Singapore, I found a video clip of a similar service. Enjoy.

OK, OK, perverts, this time it's for real. Apparently it's legal in the state of New York to go topless. There's even an annual event to make some sort of statement about going topless. The guy reporting on the story concludes,

"So what was accomplished here? Ummm. Something? Anyway, it was the best assignment I've ever had."

Apparently "Nubian monkey" is a highly offensive racist slur. Or so lawyers are claiming in their suit in Egypt against Lebanese singer Haifa Wehbe.

The song ‘Baba feen’ – which translates to ‘where is dad’ – was found to be extremely offensive, said the lawyers in their petition. So much so that Nubian children have stopped attending their classes at school because their classmates would mock them as ‘Nubian monkey’s’, said the lawyers.

I think the following is the song, but since I don't know the language, I can't guarantee it. It's actually pretty cute, and the clip can easily be understood by any parent with small children who keep getting up in the night. I presume that at some point that kid's momma calls him a "Nubian monkey" for waking her up. Maybe? Heck, I call my kid "monkey" all the time. I had no idea I was being so racist (against monkeys?) Oh, and Haifa Wehbe is seriously hot.

It's the latest in consumer services in Singapore, called Tease and Wash:

Allow yourselves to be "teased and titilated" while your vehicle gets a good rub down.

Basically, you sit in your car while girls clean it, eventually ending up in nothing but bikini bottoms and heels (the girls, not the car).

It's caused a bit of a stink. Apparently a 19 year old girl from China participated, and her school recognized her in the online promotion, and expelled her just short of graduation. For reasons I can't imagine, this story has attracted a lot of attention, being reported as far away as India.

Honestly, I was just trying to get my car washed.

[Update] More details here, including, *cough* images. But they're censored, so there are no naughty bits in sight, you perverts. I have to say that the blog owner doesn't seem to respect his vehicle, with a comment like this:

They wash car Clean anot?? DOES IT REALLY MATTERS?!!! DOES IT??!!!! KAKAKA!!!!

Gulf news reports on a new comic book featuing 99 Islamic Superheroes. Shown below we have

Dana Ebrahim (Noora the Light), HOME COUNTRY: UAE, POWERS: Allow her to create realistic holograms, see the good and evil inside of people and even levitate!

But they left off her most impressive power: the ability to appear in public in Islamic countries wearing pants with her hair uncovered. Truly, she must be a formidable superhero. Oddly, another superhero called Samda The Invulnerable can't be all that invulnerable, because she does have to wear a headscarf. As for superhero Widad from the Philippines (also with hair revealed), they don't quite spell out what her power is, but she's called Widad the Loving...

There's a racially mixed girl. She's half African, and half Chinese. Shock! Wow, isn't that interesting! Ummm, no, not really ... if you live in the West, the response might be a raised eyebrow, and an "oh, OK then" ... but in China, she's big news. Still, there are some interesting aspects to the story.

It was half a year into her marriage, that Lou Jing’s mom attended the university, had sexual relationship with a black man, and conceived Lou Jing... Lou Jing’s mom, out of false hopes that nobody would notice and that she could get away with this, decided not to abort the baby. Nobody knew what the husband thought. But he tried to defend his wife, telling everyone that his wife took too much Chinese medicine while she was pregnant (to ensure the fetus’s health), and this caused the baby to have black skin.

Chinese medicine, eh? As I said, in the West, this story would be nothing out of the ordinary. In China, it's a hot topic.

Seagulls can get really big in Australia, but I have to admit, I've never seen one quite this big. Run for the lives!

Particularly with regards to the last one, has it ever occurred to you that cockroaches might be alien space probes? It would certainly explain why they're so indestructible! Speaking of which, here's a cockroach controlled robot. ***Shudder***

The Japanese sure are a funny lot:

They have sprung up across the nation in entertainment districts. And the service they tout--having one's ears cleaned while resting one's head on a woman's lap--might seem to suggest other favors awaiting those willing to pay. But operators of so-called ear-cleaning salons insist they are not fuzoku, or sex-related businesses, despite the intimate setting they provide customers... this reporter--a 35-year-old married man--[decided] to try to find out what kind of magical soothing effect the "therapy" entails. No sooner had I made myself at home in the tiny cubicle at the Sakura salon in Nagoya's Sakae district, about the size of a three-tatami-mat room, the female employee dressed in a dark blue yukata whispered softly as she applied the ear cleaner to my earlobe. "You must be tired, your work being so unpredictable, no?" the woman, 28, said, as my other ear rested comfortably in the soft warmth of the woman's lap... "The customers are not coming to seek expert ear cleaning services, but seeking some form of mental satisfaction," the operator said.

Actually I can kind of see the appeal. I guess that makes me a bit odd too.

First, there was a Manga version of Marx's Das Kapital, and now, there's a Manga version of Hitler's Mein Kampf. Whatever next?
[Update] Of course ... it's got to be everyone's favorite political philosopher Mao! Manga Marx, Manga Mein Kampf, and Manga Mao ... it certainly seems to fit.

Those Scandinavians sure are on odd bunch. First they rape and pillage half of Europe, then they come up with ABBA, then they give Obama the Nobel Prize, and for their latest trick they come up with something worthy of the Swedish chef from the Muppets:

The Swedes, those latter-day descendants of bloodthirsty Vikings, have found a new use for rabbits: heating fuel. According to Der Spiegel, stray rabbits in Stockholm are being shot, frozen and then shipped to a heating plant to be incinerated... Converting the rabbits to fuel is the company Konvex, a subsidiary of the Danish company Daka Biodiesel, which makes automotive and heating fuels from vegetable and animal oils and fats... Bunnies, despite a felicity for breeding, are not quite abundant enough to be a reliable fuel so Stockholm also ships dead cats, cows, deer and horses to the plant for processing, Tuvunger told Der Spiegel.

There's got to be something witty I should say now, but I'm damned if I can come up with anything better than the straight quote.

[See also Part 1, featuring Carter, Obama, and Instapundit with their particular rabbits.]

Oh heck, any excuse to watch the Swedish Chef again. I couldn't find him with a rabbit, but I found something almost as good!

If you've ever read or heard anything coming out of North Korea (and its mouth-piece KCNA), the following makes really rather startling reading:

If Koreans [are]... obsessed with the conception of confrontation, the north and the south will neither get reconciled nor united. If the situation is allowed to go on, the tension will escalate and invite even a national disaster in the end. Without eradicating the conception of confrontation is it impossible to improve the inter-Korean relations nor is it possible to achieve peace and the reunification of the country.

Firstly, it sounds remarkably rational, but secondly (speaking of socialist contradictions) it flies in the face of pretty much all North Korean rhetoric before this time. They're usually much more into this kind of thing:

the visitors expressed their resolution to wipe out to the last one the pernicious murderers, wolves in human shape, if they pounce upon the Korean people again.

There's even a random North Korean insult generator that is based entirely on real North Korean pronouncements, leading to such priceless gems as:

You arrogant bloodsucker, we will transform your country into a sea of fire!

So talk of moving away from confrontation is really something quite remarkable. In fact, I've noticed that KCNA has gotten a lot less heated in recent weeks, perhaps even months. There's been a change in North Korea, but what exactly that change is, it's hard to tell. They don't call it the Hermit Kingdom for nothing.

Chinese baozi gongfu fighter takes on Japanese sushi samurai. Hai-ya!

Super Baozi vs Sushi man from sun haipeng on Vimeo.

(via Mad Minerva)

[Update] There's more!

Super Baozi, being tired of being in Catering,is longing for developeing in Recreation. With intense enthusiasm and strong perseverance, he has learned to sing songs and to play nunchakus.

Dragon Fist from sun haipeng on Vimeo.

It's a case of "huh?"

The Mongolia-Qatar joint military field exercises dubbed "Perfect decision" began near Ulan Bator on Tuesday... Professional instructors from Britain and the United States will conduct training and instructors from the General Headquarters of Mongolia's Armed Forces (GHMAF) will also give lessons during the exercises. Representatives from the U.S. and South Korea are attending the event as observers.

But why?

[See also my earlier post, Mongol Horde Rides Again]

The Onion team sure has its work cut out for it, trying to satirize and already surreal president. Still, they do a pretty good job. Personally though, I think this probably fits into the "Obama joke" category ... Leftists don't think it's funny and everyone else doesn't think it's a joke.

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire
(Via Fausta's Blog via Instapundit)