Further to my story about how British troops should use wallabies to fight the opium crop in Afghanistan, it turns out that they've actually been targeting a different menace to western civilization. That's right, the mung bean crop must be eliminated at all costs!

Soldiers engaged in Operation Panther's Claw, the huge assault against insurgent strongholds last week, had discovered a record-breaking haul of more than 1.18 tonnes of poppy seeds... Major Rupert Whitelegge, commander of the company in charge of the area, tugged at one of the heavy sacks. "They are definitely poppy seeds," he said. Except they weren't... the soldiers had captured nothing more than a giant pile of mung beans.