Inside the Asylum

Want to stop piracy? Stopping paying people millions of dollars when they do it.

Pirate attacks, fuelled by large ransoms, have continued almost unabated despite the presence of an armada of foreign warships patrolling the Indian Ocean and Gulf of Aden. "We got a $US2 million ransom for the release of the British-owned ship," pirate Mohamed Saleh, from the Somali coastal village of Eyl, told Reuters on Sunday. "A helicopter brought the money." Its Italian operator paid the ransom.

My favorite part of the story was this:

Analysts say the only way to stop bandits on the high seas is to resolve Somalia's political crisis on land where pirates profit from lawlessness as Islamist-led rebels fight government troops and African Union peacekeepers.

I'd sure like to know which "analysts" think this ... my own analysis is that the best way to stop bandits on the high seas is to hang the pirates and pay prize money for their ships.

Obama makes first move to make friends with Hugo Chavez:

Obama walked across a hotel meeting room to meet Chavez for the first time, said a senior U.S. administration official who witnessed it and spoke on condition of anonymity. The official said Obama initiated the encounter.

Chavez responds:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has sent troops to take over companies that provide services for the oil industry. "This is a revolutionary offensive," he told workers... Military vehicles were used as the state oil company seized supply boats and two US-owned gas facilities.

I guess this is what Chavez meant when he said that he wanted to "reset" relations with Washington.

When Hu ("who?") is China's president, and Wen ("when?") is her premier, it's no wonder people think the East is mysterious.
When you can have girls call He, and boys called She, and when you can have a conversation like this: "Can I speak to Yu ("you") please?" "Yes, I'm Yu," it's no wonder people think that Asians are inscrutable!
Here's another:

依婷(eating)International student dinning hall.....
A: Hi I am Mike, nice to meet you. I am from England.
B (Chinese girl): Hi, Mike, nice to meet you. I am Yi Ting (eating). I am from China.
A: Oh, sorry to interrupt you.
B: No, that is fine. I mean I am Yi Ting...
A: I know, I will talk to you after you finish your meal....
C: She means that her name is Yi Ting
A: OH, ic. You have a nice name...

Two stories running together today on Yahoo! UK: "How to be a great boyfriend" and "Ten secrets to keep from men."
Included in advice to men: not only should you remember her birthday, you should also remember her mother's birthday.
Included in advice to women: don't tell him that you are useless with money, (let him marry you first before he finds out that you're going to ruin him financially and destroy his credit score), and don't tell him that you have a crush on his friend (let him find out after you cheat on him, and even then keep lying.)

Is Obama's crusade against his Axis of Evil accelerating? Bermuda's Royal Gazette newspaper leads with this story:

A STRANGE PLANE LANDS AT L.F. WADE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT... this unusal [sic] aircraft is thought to be either a WB-57 or a Lockheed U2 extreme high-altitude aircraft.

Bermuda retaliates against USA. One dead.