A UNITED NATIONS report into the war in Gaza has concluded unequivocally that Hamas deliberately fired at civilian institutions and has accused Hamas of excessive use of force... The newspaper said the explosive report landed on the UN Secretary-General's desk late last week, but Ban Ki-moon was reportedly set to reject it. The move is sure to spark a wave of protests from international human rights organizations that have accused Hamas of committing war crimes... Conducted by a UN special investigator, Ian Martin, the investigation stops short of accusing Hamas of war crimes but did charge Hamas fighters with targeting Israeli civilians. Palestinian sources yesterday said that Hamas was putting heavy pressure on Mr Ban to delay the publication of Mr Martin's report, which Hamas says totally ignores the attacks faced by the Palestinians... According to a US official who has seen the report, "the authors completely ignored the information that Hamas passed on to the UN". Meanwhile, Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal said that he is willing to begin negotiations with the Israelis without delay. In a taped speech Khaled Meshall refused to use the words "State of Israel" but suggested that he was ready to conduct negotiations surrounding diplomatic, economic and security issues.

It all sounds very reasonable ... except for the fact that such a report has never been written, and nor would anything similar be written by the UN. Nor would there ever be waves of protest about the suppression of such a report, because "international human rights organizations" don't consider Israeli civilians to be "humans" deserving of "rights" that need to be protected. I didn't completely make this up ... there is a very similar report, but of course you need to change "Hamas", "Palestinians" and "Khaled Meshaal" to "Israel", "Israelis" and "Benjamin Netanyahu". Aside from that, I just edited the report for grammar to make sure the changes fit.
[Update]. Here is the real Khaled Meshaal:
Meshaal reiterated that Hamas would not recognize Israel, calling it an enemy, and he did not offer to revoke Hamas’ charter, which calls for Israel’s destruction and cites “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion” as fact. However, Meshaal urged outsiders to ignore the charter, noting that it is 20 years old. The Hamas leader... called President Obama’s language on the Middle East “different and positive.” Rocket fire from Gaza into Israel was significantly down in April compared with the previous three months. “Not firing the rockets currently is part of an evaluation from the movement which serves the Palestinians’ interest,” Meshaal told the Times. “After all, the firing is a method, not a goal.”
He still wants to destroy Israel, but he'd really prefer you don't think about that. After all, that announcement was made 20 years ago. In line with my previous post about Iran's view of Obama's thinking, how should we interpret this message from Hamas? Hamas refuses to recognize Israel and wants the state destroyed, and considers Obama's ideas "different and positive." I also like the way he describes a slow-down of rocket attacks against Israel. I guess military responses really are a good way to reduce violence, despite everything we've been told.